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Complete The Substitute by: BaJaB K+

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Agnostics Puppet, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    Title: The Substitute
    Author: BaJaB
    Rating: K+
    Genre: General
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: None
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 35,945
    Updated: December 16, 2008
    Published: November 7, 2008
    Status: Complete

    Summary: The magical contract made by the Goblet of Fire inadvertently makes everybody doubt everything they thought they knew about the boy who lived. AU GOF.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4641394/1/The_Substitute

    The premise of this story is basically, Harry is not who he thinks he is. The Potters are alive and well but Harry was simply a fail safe mechanism. A bit angsty toward the end of the chapter, but I thought I was pretty good. My only gripe: he called Madame Pomphrey, Pomona. Otherwise, 4/5


    BajaB also published some alternative scenes:

    Title: The Substitute Omakes, Epilogues, and Alt Endings
    Rating: K
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 9,757
    Updated: January 21, 2009
    Published: January 11, 2009
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Bits that didn't make it into the final version of my story, The Substitute. Mostly alternate endings. You have to read The Substitute for any of this to make sense.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4784970/1/



    Checked by Minion, July 28, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2013
  2. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    I think it can fly, good story. I approve. 4.5/5
     
  3. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
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    478
    I read it and enjoyed it but it's too early to tell. It was an original start but it depends on how he will handle the triwizard tournament.
    No rating yet.
     
  4. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Where idiots are not legally permitted to vote
    High Score:
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    I like this story a lot, but then I enjoy stories with a dollop of angst when they are written well and based on an interesting, novel concept. This one is.

    The Substitute is not for people seeking a tale of a confident, happy-go-lucky Super!Harry for whom everything breaks his way. Rather, it's for someone looking to read a story with fresh ideas in the fandom who doesn't mind plumbing emotional lows as well as highs. (I don't believe this story could be written without the angst).

    4.5/5. (Rounded up to 5 because he gave me a shout-out. :))

    I don't think BajaB uses a beta; a PM mentioning the Pomona/Poppy thing will probably find it fixed.
     
  5. Yume Deli

    Yume Deli First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
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    Location:
    The non-country
    The idea is interesting, but the story is too short to rate.

    Also the characters irritate me for some reason.

    If I would rate now 3/5 .
     
  6. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    BajaB writing something longer than a oneshot? :O

    Great beginning, I approve. 4.5/5 for now.
     
  7. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    3,947
    Yeah, the Potter children have this annoying quality about them. Possibly a side-effect of BaJaB reducing the Harry we know to a construct.

    I do have this inexplicable desire to have Harry rudely blow the Potters off. He might regret rejecting their help later, but then he'll does a professor and a jury member in his pocket already.

    4/5 for now, with real potential for meriting a 5/5.
     
  8. Fimbulvintr

    Fimbulvintr Seventh Year

    Joined:
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    Your closet
    This is an amazingly original story, and so well written. And the characters are irritating, solely because Harry is a construct. It's just so utterly unfair, that Harry deals with all of this hell for 14 years and then literally everything he has is taken away from him. And the worst part is, we can't really blame anyone. Dumbledore had no idea, he just wanted to save Harry's life, and the Potters are nice, so we have no one to take out our frustration on since it was an accident of fate and not really anyone's fault (except possibly Voldemort) that things ended up this way. THAT is what ticks me off, I want to punch someone in the face for Harry's sake, but who? WHO?

    Naturally, I also have this urge for Harry to just blow off the Potters, but that would just make him look like an asshole. It's frustrating because it's so unfair that the 'real' Potters got to have this happy little paradise while our Harry got ass-raped and it's not even their fault. Damn it.

    There had better be a satisfying end to this story, where Harry proves his independence and humanity and the undeserving masses are tortured for their hypocrisy. I'm not sure what everyone else thinks, but I don't think a good ending could consist of Harry joining the Potters' little family, it would just feel wrong. But before all of that, I would like to see how the author deals with whole Harry-is-still-a-Horcrux-but-technically-can't-exist-without-Voldemort's-soul problem, if he deals with it at all in this seemingly fourth year story.

    4/5 for now.

    On a more serious note (lol), there is potential for a satisfying Harry joins with the Potters ending. Interestingly, this would also involve a Harry/Pseudo-Sister pairing. Harry/Chloris FTW people, thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2008
  9. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Finally, a twin (sort of) BWL story that has some legs. If the angst is kept at a minimum, this could be a great story. 5/5 for pure originality.
     
  10. Nadino

    Nadino Third Year

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    It certainly has potential.

    The plot is original enough but I'd like to hear some more about the creation of the golems and also the fake "paradise" in which the Potters resided for years.. It sounds too unreal for me..
    As of yet, 4/5, with possibilities of getting a 5/5 if the author explains all his original concepts..
     
  11. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    Wow. I thought this was going to be entirely different than it actually is. It's definitely a new take on the GoF. Very nice, I was very surprised. This gets 5/5 from me for now. Loved all of it.
     
  12. azrael

    azrael Professor

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    That was very nice and surprisingly original. I give it 4/5 at the moment, but I it's too early to give it a serious rating.
     
  13. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    A very nice concept... wasn't this a posted plot bunny or challenge or something? It seems horribly familiar.

    Whatever. I'm holding back a review till he's a few chapters in.
     
  14. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    In the acknowledgments to his story, BajaB references a Blot idea that's similar.
     
  15. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    Well, they certainly sound like giant douchebags. I'm sure this story will head down the Potters Realize The Error of Their Ways path, but a much preferable one would be "real" Harry getting waxed by Voldemort and then they've only got the fake son. Har har har.
     
  16. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    Have to admit I like that idea
     
  17. Nefar

    Nefar Seventh Year

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    I'd do much to be this creative.
     
  18. Under_score

    Under_score Second Year

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    I was a bit iffy on the first chapter, gave him a review when he put it out.

    From what I've read he'll hopefully slow down the pace of the story.

    On the whole though I'll give him a 4/5, because it has hope.
     
  19. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    Why would you want him to do that? I rather like the pace. Long monologues of angst and normal, everyday encounters... yay <_<

    Fuck that shit. He can slow it down when it gets to an actually interesting/exciting part AKA the tasks.
     
  20. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    Positives: Great concept; Original.

    Negatives: I thought the way the truth regarding Harry went out was too pat; Irritating characters.

    What I think: While it's too early to rate it, it is a solid effort worth 4 stars.
     
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